This was written earlier today by my friend, Dave “Rigger” Vick, who is currently touring with the musical, A Chorus Line.  He reads this blog and since he has been experiencing a variety of travel scenarios for the past several months, we talk often about the challenges in aircraft, airports and airlines. 

So here’s some wacky fun…

 

When you fly out of Lester Pearson International Airport in Toronto to a destination in the USA, once you’ve checked in and collected your
boarding pass you have to go through US Customs & Immigration
Pre-Screening, inside the airport, which you might think is still
inside the City of Toronto in the Province of Ontario in the nation of
Canada…

 

But you’d be wrong.  Very wrong…

 

The line to get up to the pre-screening agents is in fact Canada, and
you can enter and leave the line as much as you wish – and they tell
you that, too – *until* you have passed through the pre-screening and
been cleared by the USCI agent there.  Now you are *technically* no
longer in Canada, and if you need to return to the terminal for any
reason, you are required to go through Canadian Customs &
Immigration…

 

However, the next stop after the pre-screen, on the way to your gate,
is the Canadian equivalent of the TSA security screening checkpoint,
which is *not* run by US-TSA agents, but by their Canadian
counterparts, and since the USA does not permit foreign nationals to
run its securty apparatus, ergo, you are *technically* not on US
territory, either.

 

You’re not in Canada… You’re not in the US…  You’re in No-Man’s Land.

 

So what happens when you happen to be, say for the sake of discussion,
the assistant carpenter-slash-rigger of a touring Broadway show,
leaving Canada after 35 days to return to the US for your next
itinerary stop, with your knapsack full of necessary tools; say for
instance two Motorola walkie-talkies, a PLS laser, a Leica Disto laser
rangefinder, a roll of 3″ wide gaffer’s tape, a roll of 2″ wide clear
Jalar tape, an assortment of measuring tapes, a soapstone marker in
its holder, a Pentel paint marker, a laptop computer, and a 9v-powered
Screamin’ Meanie, and consequently the security agent manning the
X-ray machine sends up all sorts of red flags and bells and whistles?

 

You sweat, my friend… You sweat, is what you do.

 

That was about the most nerve-wracking thirty minutes of my life,
trying to explain to a very flint-eyed Canadian woman exactly why I
was carrying all of that drek through from YYZ to BWI at 6:30am this
past Monday. She wasn’t having it, but there was apparently nothing
she point to that was blatantly enough evidence to get me into
rubber-glove-up-the-butt screening, so she had to settle for making me
squirm.

 

Filed under: Airports, Trivia by ajax